Amy Roullier is The Authentic Optimist. Part time writer, full time pro at oversharing. With a no BS approach to conversations around single life, mental health and wellbeing
No-one seemed to mind when I was single at sixteen, eighteen, or twenty one. Single at thirty five though, that shit gets people questioning what the heck is wrong with you. And that single stigma only seems to heighten with age. Because there is something about being single, especially once you reach your thirties and beyond, that feels off. Like you are going against the grain. ‘Still’ single. Rather than …
However, no-one is going to applaud you for being single, nor celebrate your wins in a way they do for others. Yep, you heard me right. All in all, it’s fair to say that society can be extremely fixated on conventional accomplishments, specific expectations and mainstream milestones. Ones often intertwined with some aspect of partnership. Milestones like weddings, moving in with a partner, getting engaged, starting a family, or beginning …
Why am I still single?. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve asked myself this question. Often accompanied with the following: Am I not a nice person? Deserving of love? Have I not endured and suffered enough frogs? Am I too bossy? Too confident? Should I be less opinionated? Is it the way I look? Where I live? Am I not pretty enough? Perhaps I should be more …
It wasn’t until I went single no mingle, that I realized how much dating had become an important part of my conversations with people. And by making who I was dating a highly discussed topic, I had inadvertently sent the message to myself that nothing else was more conversation worthy than this.
And if nothing else was as interesting, then nothing I had to say that wasn’t about when or who the next date was lined up with, mattered much.
You wake up early, to sunlight seeping in through your bedroom window and the sound of chirping birds outside. You’re in no rush, enjoying the peacefulness of the moment. Lazily unfolding yourself from the duvet in your own time. You fancy scrambled eggs and coffee so you make them both. Just the way you like them. It’s a blue sky morning, so you sit outside to enjoy the sunshine and …
Being honest, I started considering the idea of dating myself after a long string of dating failures and bad relationships. I’d become accustomed to these repeated cycles and it sucked, big time. Generally, I’m much better at seeking out highs from other people, than I am at making myself happy, but that was something I needed to change. Because like any relationship, I began to realize that the one I …
Socially, being a single woman in her 30s is a weird place to be. There’s like a pariah status that comes with the territory. It’s for this very reason I’ve sometimes struggled myself with the concept of being single. People have made my single status feel like a curse at times. Other people. Because a single woman, especially an older single woman, is just hella kinds of crazy! The single …
When I entered my early 30s newly divorced and freshly single, being on my own seemed to carry this automatic notion that I was failing at life. I must be miserable, incomplete and deeply unhappy with the single situation. There was this instant sense of pity the moment I told anyone that I was single in my 30s. Because there is this societal assumption out there that a single person …
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